Crying Over Joe

I've never met Joe but I'm curious about him. A friend of mine has been telling me about him off and on for years. Most recently, she bumped into him at a fund raiser, not unusual as they share a number of friends. Susie introduced Joe to her boyfriend, they chatted and then she excused herself and went to the powder room. It was empty except for a young woman who had her face pressed into a bundle of paper towels, her body shaking with sobs. Susie, good person that she is, asked if she could help, but got waved off. Nevertheless, she stuck around until the woman calmed down and she could ask her what she was crying over. "Joe," she said. "I'm crying over Joe."

At this point, in the telling of the tale, both Susie and I laughed. "Another one?" I asked. "Another one crying over Joe. What DOES this guy have?"

I've seen pictures, and Joe's a good looking guy but not drop dead. He doesn't have a brilliant career, lives mostly paycheck to paycheck and has enough flaws that you wouldn't say flat out that he's a nice guy. But Joe's got something. Something magical that I have never been able to define. And that's charm.

What is charm? I wish I knew. From what I've observed and read and what people say, I know some of charm's components: using people's names when you meet, having a ready smile that pushes up into your eyes, an open countenance that says I want to know you, the ability to listen, pleasing looks and voice, sexiness, good posture, freely complimenting others, excellent manners, and on and on.

Well, you may have a very nice personality and a good heart and all these attributes, but still not be charming. And you may have only a few of these attributes and still be charming. And you can't fake it. You can have a charming moment or two but I'm talking about sustained charm. It's more than the sum of its parts. It's a special ingredient, a drop of nectar straight from the gods. It's part of the magic side of life. A charming person can lift or break your heart. Who has not cried over Joe?