Sunday, April 22, 2012

A Neutral Place

Everything's OK is an easily overlooked feeling.  It may not even be recognized as a feeling.  It means things are humming along; the next day will look like this day, a bit duller or a bit brighter but not threatening. Everything's OK is the place you want to get back to when bad things happen.

In most lives, whether quiet or exciting, a time arrives when loss prevails.  Then, you look back on what was and wish you had been more aware, had more thoroughly embraced what you had.  Time goes by, grief trails on and your greatest longing is to feel nothing.  That day, too, arrives.  You sit in your kitchen drinking coffee and hear a bird sing, no up or down feelings.  It's a neutral place, a haven until you move on and create a new series of ordinary days.  But with the realization that, Everything's OK, is sometimes the best feeling in the world.

The Cocktail Hour

We met at six.
You built the fire
and mixed the drinks.
Shaved ice and lemon slivers.

You liked to say,
"There's good news and there's bad.
Which do you want first, darling?"
Always I chose the good.
And then, one day, there was no choice.
The world shook and I spilt my drink.

Long gone now those pretty drinks.

Snow falls in the early dark.
The bells of St. Anne ring.
The fire hisses.
The news is neither good nor bad. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Sick Day

Laid up with a cold, I've been watching old movies. Or, more truthfully stated, I've been watching any old thing. But I did manage to have a thought: I miss subtlety. As in its absence when two people meet, know each other for a very short time, rip-tear-pull each other's clothes off and slam their bodies together. This scene, meant to convey great passion, is so common in today's storytelling that it conveys nothing more than urgent sex. Which, of course, is a pretty powerful and wonderful feeling, but so too are the more subtle shades of passion and love. A look, a smile, a note can convey depths of feeling as interesting, or more so, than getting slammed up against a wall.

I also miss subtlety in politics. Or is that an oxymoron? Before us is a year of name-calling, hammering home the message and deliberate misunderstandings. No wit, no nuance; only the same drilled words endlessly repeated.

As does music, language has enough notes to express a wide spectrum of human feelings; from harsh/raw to delicate/subtle. When both ends of the spectrum are available, life is more interesting.

Today, I feel overexposed to the harsh/raw end. I'd like to hear someone shout his/her love from the mountain top without actually shouting at me. Also, since I'm having a cranky fit, I'm not fond of "hook-up" or "hottie." In love and politics, it would be nice to move somewhere beyond slam-bang.