Thursday, September 22, 2011

Visiting the Shops

If you want to buy a cigar, don't go to a health food store. The same logic applies to friendships. If you need to talk, don't go visit Rosie. Rosie is the friend you have fun with, lots of laughing but the spotlight is on Rosie. If you're in anxious mode, don't visit Brian who is always on the edge. Brian makes you feel good about yourself when you are able to say things that make him feel better, but today you're the one who needs to feel better. And if you're feeling on top of the world, don't visit mournful Carol. Sometimes you find her views on life intriguing and she's smart and you learn things from her, but she will bring you down. Go Visit Alan. He's supportive and a pretty good listener and the fact that he doesn't have much of a sense of humor doesn't count today.

If you do go to the health food store, don't have a fit when they say no cigars. Having been there a few times, you already know it's not the right place.

People have fits when friends don't deliver what they want...and that never works well. Not only do you not get what you need, you can lose a friendship that has some value in your life. Then, the next time you feel like cutting lose and laughing, there is no Rosie to go to. Why should we expect one friend to have all the things we need in friendship...that is about as rare as finding cigars in health food stores. Be smart and don't shop in the wrong store. (Also, stop smoking )


A said...

I love this. Especially the line, "People have fits when friends don't deliver what they want." In place of friends, you could also fill in "partners", "anticipated experiences", "work"..."life". Huh. "People have fits."

I guess part of the problem is wanting a cigar when you want a cigar, and having a fit when _____ doesn't deliver it to you. And then having to live with the wanting, look harder or elsewhere for a source, try ways to make your own cigar, see if there's something else under there.... or stop smoking.

I think I'll go have a fit.

BOBDON said...

Like the old say ing goes. Variety is "THE SPICE of Life". Each of our friend fill certain needs that we count on. We usually know which friend to turn to for a specific need. So very true--Visting the Shops is very insightful indded.