Sunday, February 12, 2012

Shirty Stuff

You know that drawer in your kitchen where you put things that have no other place to go? Once in a while I clean it out and this morning was one of those days; I threw away an earring, a battery, scraps of paper, a tube of sticky stuff that oozed onto an old candy bar and screws and parts to something. The catch-all drawer is clean now but not for long. In life, perfect is always temporary.

This messy corner of my life got me thinking about how necessary it is to manage messy in relationships if friendship and love are important to you. I can't think of a single, beloved friend who doesn't have some pesky little behaviors, some self-centered thinking or off-putting politics, and without doubt, they would say the same about me. Same goes for partners.

When you are young and/or naive you may believe that honesty is the only way to go. Point out imperfections: Tell her she has to be punctual if she wants to be your friend, tell him he needs to get to the gym. You may get away with this to some extent but people have a way of never forgetting criticism. Mind you, I'm not talking about big issues that have to be discussed. I'm talking about little, shirty stuff. (Recently stumbled across "shirty". Means irritating) It's not so much about accepting a behavior. You know you are never going to like the way he laughs or that she is a bit stingy. It's more the skill of overlooking. Mentally putting the shirty stuff in a junk drawer and visiting it as little as possible.

Want to give a loved one a valentine gift this week? How about a drawer?

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