Take it Easy

You know you're not a perfectionist.  You can tolerate messes, you're not overly critical of others or yourself, you procrastinate but not excessively, you notice details but not obsessively. So, while you are not swimming in the deep and very difficult waters of perfectionism, you are aware of some discomfort at the shallow end.

You have a sense of not being so comfortable with yourself, even when things, for a change, are going well.  A tugging at the self, a message whispered, There is more to do.  In order to silence the message, that you are barely aware exist, you might have that extra drink or too much TV or just be aware of not being as happy as a pleasant day or evening would warrant. Could it be that you are suffering from SUP? (Don't look it up cause I made it up)  SUP stands for slightly under performing.  Unlike the perfectionist, this has little to do with what others think of you.  It's an ongoing self-examination, an anxious drip, drip drip: you're letting-yourself-down, you are not living up to your full potential, whatever that might be. And, really, could anyone ever know their full potential?  Isn't there always more?

Goals are good.  Some of life's best days are those spent in working towards goals.  But goals have their place.  There should also be goal-free time. Time when the message is not try harder but rather, stop trying... leave space  for other meanings and purposes in life to occur.