No More Pretzel

There is someone in my life with whom I have a strained relationship. I wish it were easier and, believe me, I have tried everything I know to do to make it better. The thing is, the efforts I have made had---truth be told---been aimed at trying to change this person. If I just find the right words, or do this or stop doing that, then.....well, then I can make this person change. You can probably see the futility in this plan. When I finally saw my attempts for what they were, something shifted in me. We cannot change another person, only ourselves. So my focus shifted to what I needed to do to tend to myself. No sense twisting myself into a pretzel when all I end up with is twistiness. One more thing about this: my next thought after the initial insight was that I ought to let this person know that I would be changing my approach but DUH! that would just be another attempt at trying to change someone else. Instead, what feels true and right and strong is to simply live my own change. AHHHH.