A Neutral Place

Everything's OK is an easily overlooked feeling.  It may not even be recognized as a feeling.  It means things are humming along; the next day will look like this day, a bit duller or a bit brighter but not threatening. Everything's OK is the place you want to get back to when bad things happen.

In most lives, whether quiet or exciting, a time arrives when loss prevails.  Then, you look back on what was and wish you had been more aware, had more thoroughly embraced what you had.  Time goes by, grief trails on and your greatest longing is to feel nothing.  That day, too, arrives.  You sit in your kitchen drinking coffee and hear a bird sing, no up or down feelings.  It's a neutral place, a haven until you move on and create a new series of ordinary days.  But with the realization that, Everything's OK, is sometimes the best feeling in the world.

The Cocktail Hour

We met at six.

You built the fire

and mixed the drinks.

Shaved ice and lemon slivers.

You liked to say,

"There's good news and there's bad.

Which do you want first, darling?"

Always I chose the good.

And then, one day, there was no choice.

The world shook and I spilt my drink.

Long gone now those pretty drinks.

Snow falls in the early dark.

The bells of St. Anne ring.

The fire hisses.

The news is neither good nor bad.